currently at xiawen's place working on the wireless programming project. oh boy. jay chou's yi lu xiang bei is playing now. sigh. brings back memories. I still remembered the time when we could talk, a time where we still needed to hold on whatever we believe it to be. how I wish I could have those times again. the tears that ran freely, was something I would bear just to hold out if it were still to be. but I just couldn't hold out long enough. just to sum up my own immaturity that brought us to this state.

but how can I possibly regret when things are just too late already. I've tried all I could, all I have. but it's just too late that only now I understand what you really needed was nothing that you ever need. all I can do now is just pray with each day of my life. sorrys doesn't mean a thing, feelings and thoughts doesn't coincide anymore. just an illusion of what my tears still flow. each day passes without a moment of not thinking of your well-being.

well, God, I know you'll always bless her. and myself. it's been one hell of a year for me lord. how funny it is that You made me found You by making me lose you. it's funny how life can be so ironic ever since I've found You again. Seems very much like you're making me live the life she would have probably had too. it's funny how all these has changed me. in the past nothing made sense with what I do. I never cared nor bothered but for myself of having the glory all for myself. but it seems everything I do now makes so much sense. so much so I never thought I could be like this. I still pray You'd empower me with the strength to complete my duties and to use me as ur vessel. bless her lord, bless her well. and I still pray for that one light to shine through again. amen.

back to work again. shall try blogging again later. provided i still have the mood to. laters.